MONDAY

"Oh no, I'm gonna miss the metro! No I can't! Oh please God just for today, please!" Neel was uttering these words in his mind vigorously as he keeps pushing the walk signal button.

Neel had to reach his apartment by 5:30 PM today. He had all the plans to do so. But it seems you can never escape Marphy's law - when something can go wrong, it certainly will. Last minute mail from his manager alarmed him that it was coming. Neel had to deliver an urgent bug fix by EOB today. The production users were waiting on it. It was a mixed feeling of disgust and helplessness.

Neel could see the metro leaving the platform as he hurries down the escalator. "Shoot!!".

Neel leans against the pillar and switches on his iPod. He was not sure what was he searching for as he shuffles through the album list. He put it back in his pocket and looks at the display board; next blue line metro towards Franconia Springfield is after 8 mins.

It has been 10 months that Neel has been to Washington DC. He got transferred to their US office right after joining his first job out of college. The change from academic era into professional era happened quicker than he could comprehend it and when he tried to look around, it looked too unfamiliar to him; without his family, without his friends. All the things and all the people that he felt comfortable with were too far from him and he was left with all on himself.

By the time Neel entered his apartment it was already 6:05 PM. He throws his bag, sits on the couch, switches on his laptop and quickly types in the URL which is supposed to broadcast "Mahisashur Mardini"!

Today is Mahalaya morning in India now. Neel never missed listening to Mahalaya on radio. He found this web site which broadcasts the same program at the same time as per IST. It has started from 5:30 PM.

It is just another year but still it looks so different. It feels so different. It seems different to Neel. It is a strange feeling that he is having since the last week. Every thing appears so different. Neel has never been aways from his home during Puja. He lites a cigarette and stands by his balcony. He stares at the sky, trying to match it with the known clear blue autumn sky that he used to see in Kolkata. It is too gray at the time of dusk. He closed his eyes.

"Nita!! Wake up!! It is already started; AIR doesn't wait for you!! Come on, you lazy girl!! Wake up!!"

...

"No! No more 5 mins! Come on yaar! Not fair! I called you twice before already! We planned it so many days ago!".

'What am I? An alarm clock? She will be snoozing me 10 times!!'

...

"No! No one is sleeping! Come on!"

...

"Yea, Subha is up too!". Yea! Guys are better in some cases!

...

"Ok! So, we'll meet at Kumartuli. The artists are supposed to draw the eyes of the idols today. It will be amazing. Believe me. Then lunch. Then movie. Subha has the tickets. Now listen to the radio and then get ready. I can't believe that you being a Bengali doesn't care to listen to mahalaya. Ok, gotta go now, probably Subha is calling on the land line ..."

The sound of ringing became louder. Neel opened his eyes. His alarm clock was buzzing. Neel looked at his watch. Hours has passed while he was standing there. It is 6:30 AM IST. It's time to call India.

TUESDAY

Neel has taken the day off. He called his manager in the morning and informed that he was not well. He was listening to some of his favorite songs on his laptop. He played a slide show of some old college pictures of his. There he was with Subha, with Nabanita, with many others, smiling and laughing and playing pranks and dancing and singing. He knows this Neel. He looked so familiar and so different at the same time. He treasures all his memories, pictures, songs, stories, games, books in his laptop. This is the only window into his own World for him. Neel sometimes wonder if there is something uncanny about this season, this mahalaya, this puja!! It comes back every year and brings back all your past years with it!!

The phone is ringing. It was Girish. His colleague. Girish is also on an assignment here. He is from Chennai. Girish is the kind of guy you come across who never seem to have any problems. Life seems to be too easy with them. Things always seem to be in the right place, right order. Nothing really seems to create a problem to Girish. All issues have only one answer from him - "No problem". Neel used to wonder when he initially met him here. To be honest, Neel used to be very irritated by Girish's lay-back attitude and then he gave up. Girish is the person whom Neel can call any time for any thing with any reasons and he will be a perfect listener and do whatever one can do to help with perfectly "no problem" with it!!

"Neel? This is Giri."

"Hey! What's up?" Neel tried his best to sound normal.

"Harold said you are sick today. What happened? Why didn't you tell me? Fever or something?"

"No. No. Nothing serious. Just. Needed some rest."

"Are you upset?"

'Why does he think I'm upset? Why can't I just take a day off without answering any questions. Why does everything has to do with either fever or being upset? Why is it necessary to have a reason for everything? And why the hell am I asking all these?'

"Nothing like that man. Will catch up with you tomorrow. See you."

"Hmm. Ok. No problem. Take care. Lemme know if you need something."

"Sure. Thanks."

"Sunte ki chao tumi sei adbhut besuro sur ..."! One of Neel's favorite was playing on his laptop. Nabanita liked this one too. They have spent so many afternoons, sitting in the fields of their university campus, singing their favorite songs. Subha was not very enthusiastic about singing. But he listened with an innocent smile on his face. Neel liked that smile. They were Neel's best friends. Subha is still there with him. Someone else has gone missing. Does he still miss her or is it only the time they spent together that still lives in his inner feelings? Neel never really understood.

Neel was lost in his memories and was moving towards his couch; and all of a sudden the wires of his laptop got entangled with his feet and in a fraction of a moment, before Neel could even balance himself, his laptop was thrown on the floor from the table. Neel struggled to free himself from the wires and by the time he got hold of his laptop, it has gone blank. Neel tried whatever he could do to get it working again. 'Come on! Come on! What's the ...?' But it seems this machine has also inherited some weird mood that also doesn't like answering questions all the time and has decided to go silent. The window was closed for Neel.

WEDNESDAY

"Did you manage to find the service center?" It was Neel's first question as soon as he could get hold of Girish the next day in office.

"Yea! Lemme mail you the address." Girish was prompt.

"I will get the direction."

"I have the direction. I will drive you there. No problem."

Now, this is irritating. Why is this guy so stubborn? Ever since Neel informed Girish last day about his laptop, Girish is insisting to go with him to the service center. He has enough frustrations already and why is this guy so eager to make him more conscious? Neel decided to take a stronger stance now.

"Ok. Give me a call once you are done for the day." Neel nodded as he turned back towards his desk.

'Damn! The word was NO. You remember?' Neel sighed!

Later that evening when they were returning from the service center, Neel was quiet. The service center guy suspected that it was the hard disk that might have got damaged. That means ... !! Neel gets scared even if he thinks about that. He will get the verdict on Friday.

"So, how comes you don't back up?" Girish tried to start a conversation.

"Because, I never thought I will give my laptop a kick." Neel quipped with disgust.

How many times does he have to repeat himself? He never thought of it. That's it. Simple. The service center guy also was insisting on this as it seems the only solution available on this earth which is so well known to all other mortals except Neel.

"I didn't mean that. I just wanted to ... you know ... I have a zip drive. Those are good for back up. Did I show you that? There's a sale at Circuit City this weekend. Will take you there. May be you can find some good deals on external hard drives."

"Can you please pull over to the subway. I need to buy my dinner." Neel changed the subject.

"Sure. No problem."

Oh yea. Where is the problem? Try kicking you laptop next time!

THURSDAY

"Where are you? I called you twice before and didn't get the signal." Neel said eagerly.

"What happened? Urgent?" It was Subha on the other side.

"My laptop. It broke. I mean, crashed."

"How? What happened?" Subha was concerned.

Neel narrated the whole episode and what the service center guy said.

"What if everything is gone? All my ... you know ... what if all those are just gone! You know how important is that to me, right?"

"When did you last back up?"

It seemed to put a flare.

"You know something ... nobody ever talked about backup before and today all of a sudden, it seems every PC user in this world has secretly gone on a mission for backing up their work and I'm the only moron left to suffer the consequences of not caring about a zip drive." Neel was restless. How many more people is going to ask him this?

"I didn't mean that. Calm down. Do you mind if I call you a little later."

"Why? Is it a shame to talk to someone who doesn't use a zip drive." Neel was still feeling irritated and annoyed and Subha has always been the only person he feels most comfortable talking to in situations like this when Neel has perfectly no idea, what to do.

"I'm at a hospital. My dida ... she died today." Subha's voice was strained.

It was the same feeling that you get if someone slaps you tight on your face while you are asleep. Neel struggled to say something. Nothing came out. He didn't know what to say. Subha's dida raised him. Neel knew all about that.

"Hello?" Subha sounded worried on the other side.

"... yea ... yea ... why didn't you ... you could ... how could you just let me go on with my stupid laptop problem ... I'm so sorry ... why didn't you just stop me ..." Neel was still struggling for words.

"Its Ok. I'll call you. Take care. Gotta go. Bye."

The beep sound of a disconnected call continued in Neel's ear.

"I understand Neel, but I'm just not ready for it. You are a very good friend of mine and will always be. Believe me. But I don't think we can make out anything else of this relation." Neeta was tentative.

"But, what's wrong? What's wrong with us? Or is it with me?" Neel was not sure himself.

"Now you are sounding stupid Neel. I told already. I think there's no point of this discussion. Why are you wasting time?"

"But, listen, you also said we will be friends. Then why do you keep avoiding me in the college. In fact, why Subha? He didn't say anything. If you have issues with me, we can talk."

"I didn't get time."

"Why are you being so rude ... listen .... hello? hello? Nita? You there?"

The beep sound was still continuing ... !!

Neel opened his eyes and switched off the phone. Walked to the balcony.

There are moments which bring you back to reality and makes you realize that there are things which you cannot control but those things control a lot of other things that leave you helplessly alone and you struggle to put yourself together for the rest of your days.

FRIDAY

"Number 48! Number 48!" Called the service center guy.

Neel and Girish hurried to the counter.

"Yea. Hi! This is Neel. How are you doing? Did you fix it?" Neel submitted his service ticket to the counter.

"Well, the hard disk is damaged. Pretty bad, I must say. We tried to recover some data. Not sure how much we could. Have a look!" The guy turned a monitor towards Neel. It showed some cryptic letters. All seemed as a bunch of junk symbols in machine language.

"So, that's it?" Neel couldn't believe his eyes.

There it was ... all his past ... in front of his eyes ... and it was a mess ... all cryptic.

"Are you sure you can't do anything?" Girish side-glanced Neel.

"Well. All that we could is done. You need to get a new hard disk. And may be, an external one too so you can start backing up." The guy turned the monitor back.

Girish signed the service slip and gestured Neel towards the gate.

"Hey Neel, so what's the plan for this weekend?" Girish asked while driving back.

"I don't know. May be I'll do some cooking, cleaning and laundry."

"Come one man! You can do that any day! We can hit the mall at least."

"No! You Carry on! May be some other time."

"No problem!" Girish nodded.

SATURDAY

One day left for puja. But it seems to be an alien thing to Neel this year. Doesn't see any sign of it any where. He has been avoiding discussing that with his mother all the week. He said he was busy fixing his computer. He has no idea whether he can fix things that has gone wrong. He has never been good at doing that. Not sure if he can get a service center for that.

He has tried to call Subha so many times from yesterday. But every time he put the phone down. Never really got the courage to complete the call. He felt so ashamed of his act. Subha didn't call either. It is completely understandable. He must be going through a tough time himself. Neel knows how much Subha loved his dida. He visited her himself with Subha once. She was a sweet lady.

Neel's own world is gone now. Nothing left. All trapped in a crashed box of hardware. Neel once switched on his laptop which has got a fresh hard drive now. Browsed some sites on internet that reports about Kolkata's puja. All seemed to be so distant; so blurred; so cryptic!!

Girish showed up this morning once while he was browsing the puja sites. They had a casual chat. He was insisting Neel to go out with him. Neel denied politely and sent him back.

Sometimes in life we encounter moments which requires a courage of different type ... a support of different type. The fear ... what if you lose someone. But then, it is a realization that courage is not just the absence of fear ... but courage is to understand that something else is more important than fear.

In the evening Neel brought together all his courage and dialed Subha's number.

"Hello?" Subha picked up after a couple of rings.

"Hey! Its me! The boy who doesn't back up ..."

After all ... people die ... computers crash ... relationships fall apart ...!! The best you can do is to breath, back up and reboot. It was Neel's attempt to reboot!

...

...

...

...

Neel was standing in his balcony, looking into the sky. It seemed to be clearer ... with white autumn clouds. May be it looks similar to what he has lately seen in Kolkata.

"Don't try to hold back time in your hand, Neel. The time that passed by ... let it go ..." ... These were the last words of Subha to Neel today. Neel remembered those.

SUNDAY

"Hurry up! We are gonna be late!" Girish shouted from the living room.

"Can you please tell me where are we heading for?" Neel demanded coming out of his closet.

"You will see ... now let's go!"

"We better be back quick. My laundry is due today. Otherwise you are gonna do that." Neel pretended.

"No problem!"

Hahh! Right!

Girish was driving out of DC into Maryland. Neel has discarded all guesses he had about their destination. 'Its better not be another stupid mall.' Neel thought.

After 45 min driving, Girish took a turn and entered what seemed to be a parking lot of a school building.

"What are we doing at a High School??!!" Neel was impatient.

"Wait bro! Come with me."

They entered through the main gate into a corridor. The sign inside read "Sanskriti - Durga Puja - Washington DC"!! Neel looked at Girish with questions!

"I don't know much ... believe me! I saw you browsing those sites yesterday so ... did some research on internet. It is a big festival at your place, isn't it?" Girish smiled. Almost the same smile that Subha used to have on his face while he used to sing.

"You go in the hall ... I'll sign up and take the tickets and meet you inside. Go!" Girish continued.

There are those supports that you ask for some time ... and then there are those supports which just show up in time.

Neel was looking at the people around. The hall was full of people. All chatting, laughing like any puja pandal he has seen in Kolkata. There was this Durga idol made of fiber material but looked exactly same as those made of clay. The puja has started!

Neel looked back towards the door of the hall. Girish entered. When their eyes met, something just rushed through Neel and he mouthed "Thank you"! 'Thank you' for everything that Neel couldn't say ... 'thank you' for everything that Neel didn't even know he felt!!

Girish smiled and mouthed "No problem"!